The Cost of Doing Too Much

If you could wave a wand and look a year ahead, what would be true in these areas?

• Your professional life

• Your personal life

• Your physical health

• Your family and relationships

• Your spiritual life

Just pick one right now. Where do you feel most behind or most out of alignment with who you want to be?

The next question is the hard one: Why?

Let’s explore one possible reason…

Competing Goals

Dr. Henry Cloud puts it this way:

Sometimes the pursuit of two separate things can leave you with neither.

That truth hit me. Where am I chasing two things at once—things that are desirable, but incompatible right now?

Sometimes the conflict shows up in the same area:

• I want a more organized inbox and to stay up to date with news and industry trends.

• I also want to give my best energy to a project that excites me and moves the needle forward.

Both matter. But together, they compete.

Other times the conflict comes across different areas:

• I want to advance at work and take on extra projects.

• I also want more quality time with my kids, who right now need me in that way most.

Sound familiar?

You Can’t Do It All

Let’s be honest: your list is longer than these examples. You want to do all the things. You want to succeed everywhere.

Spoiler alert: I simplified the problem. What oftentimes is true, and I can speak from experience, life is much more complicated than this and the trade offs vary between many different areas of life at the same time.

But here’s the truth you keep pushing back: you weren’t meant to do it all. You weren’t meant to be everything to everyone, all at once.

There’s grace for you in that realization.

Asking Better Questions

The point isn’t to try harder. The point is to ask better questions:

• Where can I put my highest and best right now?

• Which decision lines up most with the kind of person I want to become?

• I’m I afraid of who I’ll be if I stop trying to do it all? Is there a future version of myself I need to let go of?

You already know the answer. The key is aligning your values and goals with your daily habits.

Working It Out in Real Time

For me, that looks like this:

• I value deep work. So instead of curating my inbox endlessly and reading all the things, I try to shut it down and give attention to the work that matters most.

• I value my kids at this age. I won’t get this season back. So career advancement can wait. My kids won’t remember my résumé—they’ll remember who I was to them during this season.

Two separate pursuits. If I chase both equally right now, I’ll get neither. But if I choose the one aligned with my values, I gain what matters most.

A Final Word

You don’t need to figure out everything. You just need to pause long enough to ask: What matters most right now?

And then give yourself permission to choose that—with peace, not pressure.

Big Ideas

Urgent v. Important: Do you live out of urgency or from a directed and intentional place? Are you living in the “tyranny of the urgent” at all times? What would it take for you to trade urgent for important work in one way this week?

This week, when you feel pulled in two directions, stop and ask: Which one aligns most with who I want to become?

Books I’m reading

**Just a heads-up: this email may include some affiliate links, so if you make a purchase, I might earn a tiny commission at no extra cost to you. Rest assured, I only share books & resources that I personally use and love!

Simple Money, Rich Life: A 21-day kick start to stress free money management by Bob Lotich

On the Road With Saint Augustine by James K.A. Smith

Quote for reflection

From Brennan Manning in Abba’s Child:

When we freely assent to the mystery of our belovedness and accept our core identity as Abba’s child we…become inter-directed, rather than outer-determined. The fleeting flashes of pleasure or pain caused by the affirmations or deprivations of others will never entirely disappear, but their power to induce self betrayal will be diminished. A driveness to remain rooted in the truth of who I am and readiness to pay the price of fidelity, to own my unique self in a world filled with voices contrary to the Gospel requires enormous fortitude.

Take care,

Mark